Your Assumptions Are Wrong

Every time I tell someone that I had gastric bypass they suddenly become a bariatric specialist. Here's the thing, I don't care if you know someone who had surgery. That doesn't make you an expert. If you want to give me advice you better have had the surgery yourself or studied in bariatrics. Most of what people say to me or my fiancé are inconsiderate, uneducated, assumptions based on what they have heard from a friend of a friend who had surgery. Here are some facts; 

1. Gastric bypass isn't the easy way out. I voluntarily had life changing surgery that has forever altered the way I eat. I have made a commitment to eat right, exercise and to take vitamin supplements the rest of my life to achieve my goals. I am learning to eat all over again, like a baby. I am unfamiliar with my own body and how things work. It's a learning process. 

2. Gastric bypass isn't a magical fix all. It is a "tool" and with the right plan it will help me achieve a healthy lifestyle. If I don't put in my effort to exercise and eat right, it won't work. 

3. Gastric bypass patients cannot control how much weight they lose. I feel the need to point this out because so many people say "don't lose too much, you will look sick". We CANNOT control it. Once we hit our plateau which is about 18 months post op we can try to gain more weight if we feel the need or work on maintaining. 

4. "What about the lose skin?" Well, what about it? Yes we will have lose skin. Yes we can try to tone it but it doesn't always help. But honestly who the hell cares about the lose skin. It's no better than the fat rolls! I'd rather have lose skin and be able to enjoy my life than fat rolls that hold me back. 

5. Just because I have shared my journey with some people doesn't mean I want every stranger or acquaintance asking me personal information. For example, asking me or my fiancé how much weight I have lost. If it's not okay to ask someone who is dieting, or just had a baby or had chemotherapy then it's not okay to ask me. Stop being nosy, instead offer encouraging words and compliments. 

6. Everyone has this surgery for different reasons. I had mine to save my life. I was merely surviving, I wasn't living. I didn't have this surgery so I could be a size 2 and be a fashionista (that's just a bonus) I had this surgery to better my health, to start a family and start living. 

7. This is the most IMPORTANT thing to remember; 

I am beautiful. I have ALWAYS been beautiful. My fiancé thinks I'm gorgeous just the way I am. However some people are very ignorant and make comments like "You're going to be so stunning." & "You better lock her up because she is going to be so beautiful." 

Just because I am overweight doesn't mean I am unattractive. Society labels overweight people as unattractive lazy slobs. I've never been unattractive, I'm not lazy and I'm not a slob. I'm the beautiful, young, vibrant, funny, artistic, loyal, hardworking, lovable women trapped inside an overweight body. But not for long....