It's been three weeks since I had gastric bypass aka; Roux en Y. My laparoscopic incisions are healing fine and I am able to do most of my daily routine and household chores as before. I still have a weight limit of 10 lbs. Since I am still healing I cannot strain those stomach muscles just yet. I tend to get tired very easily. This is something very common for weight loss patients. This period of time and over the next few months are expected to very difficult emotionally, mentally and physically. I am literally learning to live with a new body. I cannot tell when I am full, I do not feel full. I do not really feel hunger. I have head hunger, which is a mental battle all in itself. Why is it I have to see 100 Pizza Hut commercials now that I can't eat pizza?! Although I cannot feel when I am full I know that if I eat too much it will make me sick. I think I tend to eat too little in fear of overeating. My entire day is spent either drinking or eating. It is calculated down to the minute. Since I will be on such a strict schedule when I return to work (as a teacher's aide at school) I have to have it planned precisely. For those that don't know, I cannot drink 30 minutes before I eat or 30 minutes after I eat. And no drinking at meals, EVER AGAIN. As you can imagine this has been difficult to adjust to. Try it out, sit down to dinner without a drink. And once your done wait 30 minutes before you have something to drink. It's not easy but this is my new reality. I currently am only allowed to eat puréed consistancy foods. So if I don't actually purée my food I still have to sit there and chew it up into a puréed texture. I have to eat very slow so I give my "pouch" (stomach) time to process the food and not to overeat. Every time I eat something new there is a chance my pouch won't agree and it could make me sick. I am learning to eat slow and pay attention to how my pouch reacts. I never know what may upset it. Everything I eat has to be measured. I track everything. It's annoying, tedious and I hate it. But this is my life. This surgery isn't just a quick fix. I agreed to do my part and this is part of it. Now on top of trying to get in at least 64oz of water and 60g of protein I also have to take 12 vitamins/pills a day. And they CANNOT all be at the same time or they won't absorb. Most of them are chewable at this point, they are easier for me to take. However taking the vitamins is like a meal itself. By the time I'm done with my morning dose I am too full to want to drink my damn shake for breakfast! And I don't care how many flavors or kinds of vitamins there are, they are all nasty after a while. Same goes for the protein shakes!
Sound like fun yet?! Don't get me wrong, nobody told me it would be fun. In fact I was warned that I would have regrets in the beginning because it's so hard. So far I don't regret anything. I miss my comfort foods. I miss sitting down with a bowl of popcorn to watch my favorite TV show. But I'm happy that I haven't had a headache since the day of surgery. I can sleep well without my sleep apnea mask and I can fit into a smaller size jeans! I have a long list of reasons why I had this surgery. Some possibly too personal to share on here. I have already achieved a few of those goals. I can see the light at the end of this road and I remind myself daily why I chose this journey. I want to live instead of merely existing. One day at a time I'm getting there but first I'm starting over.
No comments:
Post a Comment