Accepting Average

So much has changed over the past year. One year ago I was planning my gastric bypass surgery. I remember thinking; this is too good to be true, there is no way this surgery is going to work. I thought it (I) would fail, just like every other diet I had tried in my life. I was preparing for life after surgery which would include the inevitable "how have you lost all your weight?" questions. Before surgery I didn't want anyone to know that I was about to undergo surgery. I didn't want to deal with the questions, the comments, and criticism. I made a Facebook post closer to the date to inform those who I trusted and wanted support from. But to everyone else, I wanted to keep my personal choice private. I am still private for the most part about my journey. But the further out I get and more weight I lose, I get more people asking me "how". I got tired real quick of trying to give the vague "I've cut back my portions and cut out carbs etc" speech. It's not that I was lying, just omitting information. But I felt like people would just staring at me waiting for me to tell them more. I live in such a small town and work for a school district where everyone knows everything about each other.  I knew that most people already knew the truth and just wanted to hear it from me to confirm the "rumors". For me trying to hide the truth about my journey almost made me feel like I was still carrying an extra weight. I decided to be open about my journey and if people want to judge me or criticize me then that's their issue. I have gained so much confidence and self love that I don't care what other people think of me.

It is weird now to have people compliment me so much. I was so used to going unnoticed or ignored. But now there isn't a single day that goes by where someone doesn't compliment me or my outfit. It's flattering but still awkward. I don't know if I'll ever believe it when someone tells me I am "not fat" or calls me "skinny minnie". It's surreal because before surgery I wanted to be known as more than just a pretty face. It appears that I am now officially more than just a pretty face. I am a healthy, average sized, fashionable, funny, outgoing, talented, beautiful, sexy, loving, caring woman. Now I just have to accept that I am no longer obese. I am average and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. 

Me 2013-2015

My Fiancé and I two weeks before my surgery and post 10 Months. 

My Fiancé and I two weeks before my surgery and post 10 Months.

12/14-10/15

I HATE this old picture of me. But I'm so thankful my Fiancé took this so I have it to compare. 

Again the horrible before picture and a current picture 10 months out and down 100lbs.