Five Month Update

So there is this thing called a BMI chart. Apparently it's one way you can determine if you're a healthy weight. According to my BMI before surgery I had a BMI of 48, meaning I was severely obese. According to the chart I need to weigh 135lbs to be considered a "healthy weight". However there is more to determining your healthy weight other than just your BMI. Your doctor usually tells you where they think you should be and what other factors to take into consideration. For me weighing 263lbs and having a BMI of 48 I felt unhealthy. I was always tired and suffered from sleep apnea. I had chronic headaches, joint pain, planter fasciitis, heel spurs and prehypertension.

I am officially 5 months post op from my RNY surgery. I have lost 72lbs and I am about 30lbs from my original goal which would be a total loss of 100lbs. However even after 100lbs lost I would be considered to be "overweight". I would need to lose 56 more pounds to be in a "healthy" range and weigh 135lbs. Right now hearing this out loud I am thinking there is no way I will make it to 135lbs. I do not want to put any pressure on myself to be a certain weight. I want to be healthy but I don't know if I want to rely on a BMI chart to tell me what healthy is. As long as I don't have high blood pressure, sleep apnea, diabetes, joint pain, chronic headaches, foot pain, back pain, and can get pregnant I will be happy. I feel good right now. I haven't had the chronic headaches I used to have. I don't have heel pain or planter fasciitis. I can wear heels again and suffer no foot pain. I haven't used my CPAP machine in about two months. I have more energy and confidence.

I don't want to be one of those people who is fixated on the number they see on the scale. However it is hard to not obsess over the number and compare where I am at to everyone else who is on a similar journey. I sure do love being able to go into stores now and buy clothing off the rack. It's crazy that sometimes the clothes are too big!! I no longer am limited to the "plus size" clothing stores or sections. I no longer have to order from the exclusive "online" only departments. However this is double edged sword because my pocket book is feeling the pain now. I think I may be developing a shopping addiction!

Honestly, I am enjoying the ride. Right now I know I am still in the "honeymoon" phase. I will continue to lose weight, within reason, without much effort on my part. I anticipate that once I lose the first 100lbs I will slow down and possibly reach a stall. After I reach my goal and I am at least 12 months out it will by much harder to lose the weight and keep it off. I am doing my part my changing what I eat and my relationship with food. Finding a balance of what I consume and exercise is essential for long term success.

I am looking forward to this summer and hopefully being able to do some things I have on my "bucket list". It's little things that other people may take for granted but things that I haven't been able to do because of my weight. There are things I was too embarrassed to try, places I was afraid to go, things that were too hard to do at my highest weight. I am looking forward to trying these and many other first along the way.

Sharing My Experience. Tips and Tricks

I have seen many people ask the same questions time and time again about the surgery and preparation of it. With questions like, what is it going to be like after surgery? What should I bring with me to the hospital? I have decided to make a post specifically for those questions. Now remember my advice and my experience was backed by my doctor and support staff. Always check with your doctor ahead of time. 

I cannot stress enough how important it is to do your own research ahead of time. And that doesn't mean just going online to a support group and asking them questions. Yes you can get valuable information from those sites, I still use them today. However everyone on there will have a different experience, some more rare than others. Some people will be "know it alls" and really they know nothing. The point is you want real medical studies, information from top bariatric related hospitals and doctors. And I will warn you, you're going to find a lot of mixed information. Some doctors tell you one thing and your doctor will tell you another thing. That is why it is important to do your own research and make your own informed decisions. Please be your own advocate! 

I know going to the first seminar and initial consultation can be intimidating. But trust me, they are there to help you and they are not going to judge you. The important thing is to be honest with them. Don't lie about the secret stash of skittles you keep in the car or the late night snacks you have. Tell them about your tendency to overeat while stressed out or depressed. All of this will help them make an informed decision on which surgery if any will work best for you. Be prepared to share your entire health history and they will schedule further testing for everything else.  

The whole process can take months to years. Every ones journey is different, in many ways. My entire  pre op journey was about 6 months. My insurance didn't require a 6 month nutritional class or diet. Some insurances require different things. And some insurances will not want to cover the surgery at all. I was lucky and had no issues with either of those. I had to attend several nutritional classes and informational seminars as part of the process. These were required by the bariatric unit that I went through at the hospital. Expect to have to pay some out of pocket expenses for these classes and nutritional classes. I had to pay for them and the psychologist visit. However you can usually choose who you want to see and pick the doctor with the lower fee. 

I was kinda of just going through the motions the entire time until I got my approval. I went from one appointment to the next. I had lots of blood work and all sorts of test done. I took pages of notes and asked lots of questions. But it was all so surreal until I got the approval. When I got the news I cried because I didn't believe this was really going to happen. Once it set in and got closer to the date I started to panic and thought "Oh my God, I am not ready, what am I doing?" I started to question everything I had learned, and didn't think I had enough information to make the decision. I was scared. It is completely normal to feel this way. You will panic, you will question yourself. Remind yourself why you need this surgery. While in the process of getting approval I made a list of all the things I couldn't do because of my weight. I made a list of all the things I wanted to do and haven't done yet because my weight had held me back. On the days you second guess yourself go take a look at your list. You'll quickly remember why you are making this decision. 

The Pre Op Diet..... Oh My God.....Yeah its pretty bad hahaha But ya know what? We didn't come  this far to give up now! And honestly this is the hardest part. What makes is so damn hard is the fact we are basically quitting our food addiction overnight. We quit cold turkey. I had been trying to eat better since the beginning of my journey. But the last few days before I started my pre op diet, which last 2 weeks, I kinda of went on a "last meal" binge. Again, this is not something I condone but a lot of us do it. I wasn't eating a lot just eating things I was afraid I wouldn't be able to have again. Once the diet started the first few days weren't so bad. I was lucky that I didn't have any major withdrawals from caffeine or anything. Some people go through that, I suggest trying to break the habit ahead of time. Try to find a meal replacement shake you like ahead of time. My diet consist of four shakes a day. I had to make sure that I could tolerate them. Also drink lots of water in-between, to help make you feel full. Every Doctor is different and every pre op diet is different. You have to work with what you're allowed to eat. Mine was one of the better ones I think. However around day 6 I was struggling. My Fiancé wanted to go get fast food for himself (since I refused to cook those two weeks) and I was craving something more substantial than soup and jello! I had him get me chicken tenders. I savored every single bite of those. But as soon as I was done I regretted eating them. I felt like a failure. I thought, I can't even make it through the 2 week diet how am I going to make this lifestyle change? But ya know what, I made it. So I stumbled a little. I got back up and brushed myself off and I kept going. I finished my two week diet and had no complications during surgery. 

Preparing your overnight bag for the hospital really isn't rocket science. People love to over do it when it comes to this. I'm telling you now that whatever you pack you wont use 80% of it. Just bring comfy clothes for the car ride home. While at the hospital you wont care about that your dressed in. I didn't even care that my ass was hanging out while I walked the hallways. Bring a pillow. Use it to hold against your tummy while walking, sitting down, standing up and the car ride home. I brought Gas X strips, those are a lifesaver. You can bring all your medication, the doctors and nurses will let you know what to take if anything. If you have a CPAP machine, bring that. Most importantly, don't forget clean underwear and deodorant. I brought toothpaste and toothbrush but honestly I had all I could do to shower I didn't have the energy to brush my teeth. 

The morning of surgery I was pretty calm. We made the two hour drive to the hospital and got all signed in. I had a major headache that morning. Part of it was the fact I had nothing to eat or drink in like 12 hours and I think the anxiety was setting in. By the time I got into my gown and set up in my recovery room I just wanted something to make my migraine go away. I was cold, dehydrated, they couldn't get a vein and my head was going to explode. I was still pretty calm until the nurses came in and told me they were going to wheel me down to the O.R. room. First of all, I had asked to be given something for my anxiety before leaving my prep/recovery room. Of course the men who came in weren't aware of that. But having them come in and try to take me so suddenly really set me off. It was so fast, I wasn't ready! I went into a panic and started blubbering like a baby. I asked my Fiance (God love him, he never left my side) if he thought this was a good idea, was I making a mistake? What if I couldn't do it? What if I failed? I was risking my life for this surgery and I wasn't even sure I had what it took to be successful. He reassured me that I had done all the research, I was making the best decision for me and I was going to be okay. As I was clinging to him crying the nurse gave me some "happy medicine" in my IV. He hugged me and kissed me and I faintly remember the lights on the ceiling, my toes being cold, being asked to "roll over onto the table Sara", "relax your arms dear", and someone placing the mask over my face and telling me "this is just air Sara, breath normal" They lied....It smelled funny......

When I awoke I can distinctly remember the pain in my abdomen and thinking "What the hell did I do!?" Don't worry, that's normal, you will have a few of those moments. You will be an emotional wreck the next few weeks. Make sure your family and friends are aware of this. At the hospital you will spend most of your time sleeping, walking, trying to go to the bathroom, and eating/sipping. Make sure you eat what they bring you. I ate a little bit and left the rest. I ended up staying an extra day because I wasn't eating enough. I didn't realize they were measuring and watching what I ate. I preferred to eat ice chips instead of drinking anything. Sugar Free Popsicles will be your best friend post and pre op. The most important thing is to get up and move. It will be uncomfortable and even hurt a bit but it gets better the more you do. If they don't see you up and walking they wont let you go home.

Once you are home you may become overwhelmed. Being alone without the guidance of a nurse or doctor can be intimidating. Thankfully I had my fiance here to help me. You should have food and vitamins already there. It's going to seem impossible to get all the liquid, protein and vitamins they want you to consume, it is. Just take your time, do what you can. It will get easier. I didn't take vitamins for three weeks after surgery. I only took a few kinds that I found that were sublingual and gummy. I know some doctors don't recommend gummy however I couldn't stomach anything else and figured they were better than nothing. When I went to my follow up I told my doctor I wasn't taking them yet because I had to order some online and was waiting. She was aware and supportive. I had purchased chewable forms of calcium prior but after surgery they made me want to vomit. Same thing with the shakes. The protein powder I had used all along tasted horrible to me now. It will be a trial and error process. Some days are better than others. You need to focus on sipping liquids to stay hydrated and walking. Believe it or not the pain comes from the gas thats trapped inside you. The Gas X strips help with that. I was never so happy to pass gas in my life! Just be careful, it may not always be just a fart!

You did it! You've made it this far, both reading this horribly long blog and in your journey! There is no going back now. The good news is that you've completed the hard part. Well kind of. You are now going to face an entirely new set of challenges. Those will be a topic for another blog. Trust me though, these struggles are less physically painful. They deal more with the mental and emotional struggles you will face after WLS. Remember nobody told us this journey would be easy. But we can sure as hell guarantee that it WILL be worth it. 

Much Love and Best Wishes on Your Journey.